WÜRSTMEISTER

Deep beneath the Bavarian Alps, inside a government-blacklisted sausage laboratory, German scientists attempted to create the perfect fusion of meat, mustard, and hockey instinct. Their project: Würstmeister. But during a routine sauerkraut infusion, the experiment went sideways — a Zamboni crashed through the containment wall and Cole escaped into the night wearing nothing but half-laced skates and a jersey that smelled faintly of smoked paprika. He eventually found refuge where all misunderstood meat-based athletes belong: with the Utah Glizzies.