MEAT SHIELD

Rushton Hiltbrand became Meat Shield after volunteering for a top-secret experiment designed to create the most absorbent human barrier in beer-league history. Scientists tested foam, Kevlar, and one haunted blocker before realizing the perfect shot-stopper was not a material — it was a mindset. The first time he played for the Glizzies, he took a slapshot off the chest, looked mildly annoyed, and asked if that was 'all they had.'