Get To Know The Team
Roster cards with bite.
This page is built to turn real GameSheet stats into player blurbs, awards, schedule notes, and very official nonsense.
Official vibe report
Stats imported
Season Schedule
Every stop on the grill tour.
Fall 2026 D League
Three games in. Spotless.
The Glizzies are 3-0-0 to open Fall 2026 — a shutout of the Salt Shakers, a 5-3 receipts win over the Gnarwhalers, and a 10-0 blowout of the Zombonis.
Utah Glizzies
3-0-0. Blanked the Zombonis 10-0 behind a full-team effort.
New nameplates, a returning core, and a full 11-game Fall slate at Mammoth Ice Center. SAUCE DAWG ran the offense with 3 points and MEAT SHIELD posted his first shutout — three down, eight to go.
3 wins, 0 losses. Off to a perfect start.
19 for, 3 against through three games.
Three wins, three games.
Thursday, August 13 • South Rink • Final.
July through October 2026. Full schedule above.
Updated from GameSheetStats and the current team schedule.
Spring 2026 D League — Final (Archived)
Last season, for the record.
The breakout season. Ran the table into the championship game before falling in overtime to the Salty Boys.
Utah Glizzies — Final
8-5-3, 19 points. Championship Game — lost 6-5 (OT) to Salty Boys, July 3.
Sixty-eight goals for, 51 against, a plus-17 differential. Hayden Rathmell led the team with 7 goals and 9 assists for 16 points. GlizzNasty led the way with 4 game-winners. Rushton Hiltbrand held the crease at a .832 save percentage and a 3.48 GAA. First trophy-game appearance in team history.
Eight wins, five losses, three shootout/OT losses. 19 points.
Plus-17 goal differential across the full Spring slate.
7 goals, 9 assists, 16 points — GLIZ GOD.
4 game-winning goals — GlizzNasty.
.832 SV%, 3.48 GAA — MEAT SHIELD.
Championship Game vs Salty Boys, July 3.
The Roster
Meet the bench, now with receipts.
Pulled from the Utah Glizzies Team Stats export on GameSheetStats. Everybody gets a spot here, even the players whose official stat line currently reads like a very peaceful evening.
Meet Our Team
Nameplate origin stories.
Built from the team nameplate sheet, then lightly grilled until every player gets a legend instead of just a stat line.
New season, same sacred crease.
MEAT SHIELD gets handed down. Devin Bain takes the net for Fall 2026 — zero games played, zero goals against, a clean slate, and some very big pads to fill.
Nineteen skaters, one shared dream.
A returning core plus four fresh nameplates. Zero goals scored so far this season, because the season has not started yet. Check back after July 29.
| # | Player | GP | G | A | PTS | PIM | Fun scouting report |
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